Age Old Question

"How old is he?" She asked after waving and cooing at Critter.
"He's a year old." I replied. "Actually, he's thirteen months old." I corrected myself and then cringed after hearing myself say that.

I get the question a lot. Ever since he was born, whoever took an interest in Critter asked. Everybody, strangers, that coo and caw at babies want to know how old they are. Maybe people are in awe of their tininess and want to know what age this little size is.

With infants, age is defined in months. "He's two months old." "She's 5 months old." Etc., Etc. After the kid turns the magical ONE year old, people still say the age of the kid in months. They do it up to two years old. Pre-motherhood, I didn't understand why after a year, the age is still in months. AND after becoming a mother, I still don't understand why we're saying a child's age in months.

I also ask mothers that I come across, the age of their children. It drives me nuts when they respond in months. "She's 19 months." It takes me a while to figure out the age. I have to stop. Think. And count on my fingers (without them seeing) 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19. Oh, the kid is a year and 7 months! Why didn't they just say so? It's easier for me to hear a child's age as one year and X months than just months.  I understand it better. Am I the only one that gets confused when they hear a child's age in months? It's like military time. People use it in the real world (outside the military) when they really don't need to. When I hear military time, the abacus comes out and I have to subtract 12 just to figure out the time and then wonder why the idiots used milatary time.

I'm not doing that again. When questioned, I'm not going to say Critter's age in months. I refuse to. I'm  going to respond One Year One month.

On Sunday, Critter was 13 months old. Slept at the park to celebrate.

In this photo, he's awake and  One year One month old.

Music to My Ears

 Mamma Mia, I've been heartbroken.

Critter's first words were.....
....nope, not Mama BUT Dada. Since he started jabbering away, that's all I heard aaaaaaall freakin' day.
Dada, dada, dada, dada, dada, dada, dada, dada, dada, dada.

I would sit him down.
"English Lesson #1. Mama. Say it. Mama. Look at my lips." He'd try to squirm away and I'd sit him down again."Pay attention. Mama. Your lips need to come together and then separate. Ma Ma." He'd say, "Dada"

I gave up.
He did finally come around to saying Mama but not as often as Dada and only when he needed food. SIGH! I'm just a tool for that kid.

This morning, I was in the kitchen making breakfast and I heard Critter wake and say "Mama"!
That was the first word out of his mouth! I ran into the bedroom, Hubby was laying in bed with Critter. "He woke up and that's the first thing he said!" I shrieked excitedly.
It melted my heart.

Mama and her Critter

I'm Mama!

Mommy Scorsese

Remember when you'd have to sit for days/weeks and have a portrait done. You'd get the children all dressed up in their best outfit, commission an artist and after the oil paint dried, you'd have a keepsake to hang on the wall.

This is NOT Critter.

Of course you don't remember. We weren't alive when the only way to capture moments was to sit for Rembrandt or Manet.

We can take pictures till our hearts content. We don't like them, we delete. We want to alter them, hello Photoshop. I probably have thousands of pictures of Critter. The kid is only a year old and he's well photographed. Sure there are lots of pics that are blurry, but hey, I can't bring myself to delete them.

It's not that obvious here, but this photo is very blurry. But he's still sooooo cute.

Not only do I have lots of pics of Critter, but I'm obviously shooting an epic movie. I have hours and hours and hours of Critter footage. Every trick Critter does, I try to pull out the video camera and capture. Sometimes, I'm not quick enough and I try to get him to do a retake. He's not an accommodating actor because most times he's moved on and doesn't want to do a re-shoot. He must be in SAG. Damn, union.

So much happens during the day that I want to tape. It's just me and Critter most times, so there's no one else to hold the camera and press record.  I have a tiny little tripod (from my pre-critter stage career). I set it up, hit record, and viola, we can both be in the home movie. We're like the Barrymores, it's all in the family.

Lights, Camera, Action.
The first video I recorded using the tripod, was with Critter (6 months old) laying on our bed and me running up to tickle him. Two minutes of me running back and forth, tickling, and Critter laughing.

WEEEELL, I'm not Martin Scorsese! I completely messed up the frame (that's movie lingo). I cut off Critter's head!! It's two minutes my pudgy legs running to a headless giggling baby.

I'm not posting the video, It's really creepy. But here's a still from it. There wasn't a "Take 2"

A Year of Love

It's been a while since I've posted here
Here I am and Critter is One Year Old!!

About a month ago Hubby asked, nudging toward Critter "You're not enjoying this, are you?"
"Huh? What do you mean?" I replied.
"I read something on your Mommy Diariest. It seems that you don't like being a mother."
"Huh? What was it? What did I say?" I asked.
"I don't remember exactly, but it seemed like......"

REALLY?!?!?!? Have I written something on here to that effect? Have I been so negative that it seems I hate being a Mommy? Sure, Hubby and I  had our issues and I've stated that here BUT it has nothing to do with how I feel about Critter.

It's the complete opposite. I am GAGA about Critter. I adore and love him beyond anything describable. Since the day he was born, I have been in awe of my child. I can't stop kissing, cuddling him. I love everything he does and cherish every moment. Every day, I say to or about him that he is something else. He is special. I am truly enamored with my child. Everyday I give him hundreds of kisses, hold him so close to me. I don't want to stop kissing him. I don't want to put him down. And at the end of the day, before he falls asleep, I hold him so close to me, whispering to him how much I love him, I can't belief the day is over. It wasn't enough time with him.

I can't believe how fast the past year went by. It was the best year of my life! Sure there were times with Hubby that were tense but every moment with my child was a joy. And as I look back on the past year I really can say that. There were a few times when Critter was cranky and sick but I can honestly now say that I didn't mind them. I cherished every moment because I knew I wouldn't get them back.  I watched my child in amazement as he developed from a newborn to a one year old with his own personality. I love everything Critter did/does. Every little gesture, facial expression, movement, every advancement he made I am enchanted with. I want to relive the past year. I want it all to happen again so I can experience the wonderful moments once more.

A year before Critter was born, Hubby and I had a difficult time in our marriage. My child came into my life at the perfect time. I now know what unconditional love is.

Everyday since he was born, I sing this little tune to him that I made up:
"You are Mommy's angel
You are Mommy's Love
You bring me happiness
You make my sun shine."

I truly believe that I need my child more than he needs me.

Happy Birthday, Critter. 
You are the love of my life.

June 24, 2010

 

 

 

June 24, 2011

Heat Wave

It's HOT! 95 degrees in NYC. Thank you mother nature.
I'm not a big fan or air conditioning and I'm puzzled when people turn it on when it's only 80 degrees. Open a damn window! But on a day like today, even I'm running to the AC.
Weeeeeel, after turning the AC in the living area, I realized it's not cooling the space. You have to stand in front of it to get a whiff of coolness. SIGH!

Flavor Flav

 When we started feeding Critter (6 months old) "solids", he took to it quickly and devoured anything we gave him. Sure, in baby world, early on, "solids" are  foods pureed to an almost liquidy consistency. I made everything with the occasional baby jarred food for variety cause a lot of fruit wasn't in season.

Critter liked everything Mommy and Daddy gave him. His favorites were bananas and sweet potatoes. Over time, and as his teeth came in and grew, we started giving him whatever we were eating in combination with pureed mush.

Around the 9th month, Critter revolted against pureed mush (even though I was making it chunkier and adding two ingredients).

It turned into a battle of getting him to eat chunky baby food. I couldn't figure out what was the issue. Was it the spoon? Was it the consistency?And then I realized he likes FLAVOR! He no longer wanted straight up bland veggies. Can I blame him? But if it has a little spice in it, he'll eat it. He decided that he likes regular food better and that's what he'll have and there's no getting him to eat babyish food. He'd sit in his high chair, take the first bite and when he realized it was bland he wouldn't open his mouth for the next bite. He'd sit there with his mouth pursed, just glaring at me. He's Fighting the Power.



Well, I don't always cook food that can easily be mushed enough for him. Like salad.
So, I started tricking him. I have the baby mush in a bowl and then something tasty in another. With one hand I raise the tasty food to his mouth, as soon as he opens his mouth, my other hand shoves the babyish food in. Heee heee heeee, it works! Okay, Most of the time it works. Sometimes he catches on and stares at my hands to see what they're doing. And as soon as he sees the tasty food hand coming toward his face, he'll open his mouth and lunge toward it, almost taking my fingers off.

I also discovered that he needs to be occupied with a toy or book while I'm feeding him. He needs to have something in his hands and he'll eat a good amount.

Foods that I "trick" him with are: dates, bananas, anything with flavor - they're good to mix with veggies.

He LOOOOOVES hummus (hey, he's an arab kid) and biryani (and he's a Pakistani kid). He also loves asian food. He's just like me. He loves food with flavor.

My Flavor Flav

I'll Tumble For You

Under the window in our living room, we have a futon (from my single days) with bookcases on each side. Two shelves in the right bookcase have Critter's books. Hopefully, his collection of board books will one day go in the Presidential Library. Hey! A mother can dream. He often crawls to the bookcase, takes his books off the shelves one by one, throwing them on the floor, sits on the floor surrounded by his books and looks through them. Pointing at the pictures, blabbing as if he's reading.

On Monday after he ate breakfast, I put Critter on the floor to explore and play while I went to the kitchen to get my breakfast. I'm in the kitchen for 2 minutes and I heard a very loud THUD. I ran out and he was face down on the floor, feet up in the air by the futon surrounded by his books. His face was pressed against A Snowy Day.

I picked him up, held him close, comforted and kissed him. At first it was that scary cry where their mouth is wide open, face very red, but no sound comes out. I blew on his face to get him to make a sound and boy did he sound out........he wouldn't stop crying.....and I started to cry. The two minutes I turn my back and he gets hurt. How could I let that happen? I felt like a terrible mother. Why was I so careless? Why didn't I take him into the kitchen with me? I figured, I was only going to be out of the room for two minutes.

I guess he crawled to the bookcase, took out some books, climbed on the futon, wanted to read, reached over to get his books and WHAM! he hit the floor head first, or I should say nose first cause he got a black and blue on the bridge of his nose. I guess the snow didn't break his fall.

Since then, he's made a beeline for the futon many times, gotten on it and sat down with a good book. But I'm watching him.

Growing Up Is Hard to Do

Last night after nursing Critter and him falling asleep, I laid with him and held him for a few. Since it was still early (9:30pm), I got up, went into the Nurserice (Critter hasn't slept in it yet) where Hubby was on the computer.

"What are you doing?" I asked.
"Trying to find a chocolate chip cookie recipe." He replied looking up at me. "Were you crying? What's the matter?" He asked.

"Nothing's the matter." I replied, my lips quivering. My mouth turned down into a pout and eyes welled up with tears and the flood gates opened. "I don't want him to grow up." I said sniffling up my words. "I want him to stay this age longer. Why does it have to go so fast? Why can't he be a baby for a bit longer." And on and on I said, tears streaming down my cheeks.

Hubby, got up, held me, trying to comfort me with words.

I seriously had a melt down.

When I was laying and holding Critter, I couldn't help but think about how fast time has gone by and how big he got and all the advancements he's made. I was holding him and crying because I don't want this stage to end. This infant stage. I seriously don't want him to grow up. Call me greedy and selfish, I don't care. I want to enjoy these precious baby moments for a longer time. The simplest things he does give me such great joy. The way he crawls. When he points at things. The babbling. His big goofy smile. His giggles. His ticklish spots, the way he chews, how he cries when we take him out of a playground swing, etc. etc. etc.

I really want the past 11 months to happen all over again. Not because I want to change things (okay, maybe a few things, only things with Hubby, not Critter) but I want to relive all the wonderful moments with my child. I want to experience them all again.

At the end of every day, laying in bed before I fall asleep, I reflect on the day, think about Critter and I can't believe the day is over. It wasn't enough time with him.
Why can't they stay this age for a few more years?


Remember when I held you tight
And I kissed you all through the night
Think of all that we've been through
Growing Up Is Hard To Do

Cry Baby

Wha, wha, wha, wha, wha...and so on and so on and so on.
Hearing a baby's piercing cry has to be the most unsettling sound.

Critter isn't a wailer. Never was.
Don't get me wrong. He cries when he's hungry and lately because he's teething....and rarely. He just doesn't ball his eyes out.....UNTIL early this morning.

1:59am Critter was contently sleeping, 2:00am, he started to cry. I gave him the boob. He sucked a little, then opened his mouth and deafening cries came out.
I picked him up and sitting in bed, rocked him. Nope, he didn't calm down.
I tried to give him the boob again. Nope, didn't want it.
Okay. Probably his teeth. Put gel on his gums. Nope, still wailing.
For one hour and a half, he was inconsolable.
I went out to the living room, put him in his stroller and started to walk around the room. He'd dose, but as soon as I stopped 'strolling' he'd open his eyes and with this forlorn look up at me, as if asking, "why'd you stop?"
After 'strolling' the living room, we laid back down and he finally fell asleep.....UNTIL 5:00am, when the wailing started again.
I gave him the boob. Rejected it! Huh! What male rejects boobs flung in his face?
I tried to give him a bottle. Nope!
I changed his diaper. Nope, didn't appease him.
I took off his PJs and inspected him. Maybe he physically got hurt. Nope, no signs of pain.
We went out to the living room, gave him some water. He looked around and started to point at things. He was calming down. We sat in the rocking chair swaying back and forth. It worked. He started to dose and we went back to bed.

Hubby and I were baffled, he's never ever cried like this. Sure, we've had nights when he was cranky cause the burp wouldn't come out. But that was when he was just a baby.And we weren't up past 1:00am.
Critter's never gotten up in the middle of the night crying hysterically. This was unprecedented.

Did he have a bad dream? Of a baby bully snatching a toy from him?

He awoke this morning at 9:30am (2 hours later than normal), with a great big smile on his face. Had breakfast and happily played, pushing a toy car across the wood floor, as if nothing happened early this morning.

Um, Critter, let's not have a repeat tonight, Momma needs her beauty sleep.

*Cough* *Cough*

On Sunday, we spent the day sightseeing with a friend and her daughter.  Our friend is a pediatrician. She's very knowledgeable and passionate about children and health care.She's not Critter's Baby Doctor. I wish she was, but she lives in another state.

Whenever, we see her, I want to ask her so many questions about baby related stuff. But I feel it's not appropriate; she's not on duty, she probably doesn't want to be bombarded with questions while hanging out with friends. After all, Critter does have a pediatrician that I should brooch concerns/questions to. But yet, I can't help but want to hear our friend's opinion about certain issues. I always want to ask her for advice.

I always wonder, when she's holding Critter, if she's 'examining' him. Does she check him out to make sure he's Okay? Is she looking at him and wondering certain things? Does she want to say something to Hubby and me about Critter's health?

Every time we see her, after Critter was born; before meeting her, I have a talk with Critter. I tell  him to be on his best behavior and not to sneeze, cough, or display any signs of sickness. I always feel like if she sees him and he's sick, she'll think I don't know what I'm doing as a mother and wonder how could I allow my child to get sick.

While we were with her on Sunday, Critter coughed twice. I cringed. She didn't say anything.


Is there anything more annoying than the Chipmunks?!?!? Sorry, but I couldn't find another version of this song.

Time Flies

Ticking away the moments that make up a dull day.



What's a dull day? I hate saying I'm a stay at home Mom. Does it have a negative connotation? Do people think I sit around all day, watch TV, change the occasional diaper, shove food in my kid's mouth and spend oodles of hours just lounging on the sofa? Sure, Critter and I rarely do anything exciting. We're not trapezing around the city looking for action. But gosh darn it, our day is full and NEVER dull! We do normal things; we wake up, eat breakfast, run errands, do chores, go to the library, take walks, go shopping, eat lunch, play with toys, read books, cook dinner, etc, etc. and in between all that, I breastfeed, change diapers and kiss, kiss, kiss him, and time goes by so quickly. Before you know it Hubby is walking through the door for the evening.

Time has come today.



It’s times like these you learn to live again
It’s times like these you give and give again
It’s times like these you learn to love again
It’s times like these time and time again 

Going Away

Critter LOVES to go out. He loves being around people.

We'll be away for the rest of the week. We aren't flying or shipping ourselves.

Going to visit Hubby's sister in VA. She has 6 kids and that giant calculator. Critter loves having  kids around him and he often tries to be part of the action. Whatever they're doing, he wants in. Now that he's crawling around, it should be interesting and I think I'll be busy getting him out of trouble.

See you next week!

Tax Man

"When there is an income tax, the just man will pay more than the unjust less on the same amount of income."
- Plato

"Tax the Rich, Feed the Poor"
- I'd Love to Change the World, Ten Years Later

That time of year again. When the the human spirit is melancholy. Creativity flourishes with every receipt found. Accountants are in more demand than hookers. Confusion lurks even in great minds. The government wants its money....and wants it by today.


For 2010 we have a child we can  deduct. A whopping $1,000. Is the gov't for realz?!?!? $1,000?! Hey Uncle Sam, I'm raising a child in the good ole US of A. Hopefully he'll grow up and get a job and guess what? He'll dump more money into the gov't by paying his fare share of taxes. So how about cutting me some slack and giving me a bigger deduction for breeding someone that will in the future put $ into the system.

Critter and Calculator both actual size. (photo taken 02.26.11)

Shopaholic

I have two pants and a few tops that fit me. I keep alternating them. I'm bored with them. Hubby wants me to dress a little nicer. I guess he's tired of the butch look. I need new clothes while I try to melt this blub away. Only problem is, I HATE TO SHOP!

I know, I know. I'm a woman and should be genetically programmed to shop but truly, I abhor it. There's nothing worse than going into a store and seeing all that stuff. I get so turned off. The thought of looking at clothes and trying them on makes me anxious.

I want someone to give me a pile of clothes and say "Here, these will look great on you and make you appear to be wearing a size 2". Life would be grand.

I'm Down

The Slump-O-Meter is high today!
Aaaarrrggghhhh
How do you get out of a funk?

Sleepless in Brooklyn

Critter gets up in the middle of the night to nurse. He usually gets up at 5am, chows on me and then goes back to sleep. Sometimes, he'll awake at 3am for the boob.

Regardless of what time he wakes up at night, I can't go back to sleep! It's been happening for about a month now. I can't fall back asleep. I stay awake for 2 hours, I go to the bathroom, get a drink of water, crawl back into bed, stare at the ceiling, look at the shadows in the room, think about life, family, friends, sometimes I cry; Okay, a lot of times I cry, I go the the bathroom again, drink more water, crawl back into bed and finally about 2, 2-1/2 hours later, I fall back asleep. Yep, just to wake up in about an hour, groggy and tired.

I don't take sleeping pills and don't want to. I don't know what to do. How do I cure my sleepless nights?

I want to sleep dammit, and have pleasant dreams.

A Top.....of the World

Some mornings when getting dressed I ransack Hubby's drawers (get your mind outa the gutter) for something to wear. If you haven't heard (or read), I'm heavier than my normal. Thank you pregnancy! Well, it's really me stuffing my face with chocolate.

I only borrow tops from Hubby. I haven't yet been desperate to borrow pants. Okay, I am. But I still won't do it.

This morning, from his drawers, I pulled out a.......(get your mind outta the gutter).....black cotton long sleeve top with a half zipper in front. It's not a hoody or a sweetshirt. But anyway, it fits me, a little on the big side. But if anyone comments about it being loose on me. I'll just say I lost weight :-) I put on a t-shirt (mine - yes, it's a bit tight) and left his top on the bed to wear right before I go out.

I'm running around getting Critter and his bag ready when Hubby comes out of the bedroom dressed to go to work.

"HEY!!!! I took that out so I CAN wear it." I said looking at Hubby wearing my (okay his - but mine for the day) top. Did Hubby think I pulled it out for him to wear? I've NEVER laid out Hubby's clothes nor do I ever want or intend to.
"You can wear it. I'll find something else." I told him as if I was giving him permission to wear his own clothes.

He went back into the bedroom changed into another top, which actually would have looked better on me.

Hair Today, Gone Tomorrow

...and Hair Again.

While pregnant, women have a higher level of estrogen therefore less normal hair shedding occurs and hair appears to be thicker. Read more here.

During my pregnancy I noticed my hair grew faster and was thick and curly.
I had: a head with hair, long beautiful hair. Shining, gleaming, streaming, flaxen, waxen. Give me down to there hair. Shoulder lenght or longer. Here baby, there momma, everywhere daddy, daddy.
Hair, hair, hair, hair, hair, hair, hair, hair.

I really loved my hair.

My luxurious hair pre shedding (August 2010)

I had read and heard that after you have the baby hair starts falling out. Well, critter arrived and I still had a nice full head of hair.......UNTIL he was 3 months old, and then BAM! Clumps of my curls were coming off my head. I hated showering cause I'd get a handfuls of hair that I tearfully watched disappear down the drain.
I lost so much hair I looked like I had a receding hairline at my temples. I'm really not a vain person but WTF!

Well, it does grow back but it takes its sweet time. The hair at my temples is about an inch long now. When my hair is down, it's not noticeable and I can blend it in, but when my hair is up WHOA! No amount of gel is helping my new look. I have devil horns!

Let's Make a Deal

Hubby has a beard. I HATE IT! He's had it for years. I've HATED it for years! It's not very flattering on him. I don't think a beard is flattering on anyone (especially women). I don't mind a little stubble; a five o'clock shadow. But Hubby's beard is more like a stable with hay that needs to get raked. He'll let is grow and it becomes this wild looking frizzy, I don't even know what to call it. If I turned Hubby upside down, his beard would look like Don King's hair; minus all the white (hair that is, not skin tone).

A couple times a week I ask Hubby when he's gonna shave it. I really HATE it.
When Critter was younger he'd stick his hand in Hubby's beard as if it was a pocket. Who knows, maybe for warmth. Now Critter hangs on it and pulls himself up.

I have some fat. I'm sure Hubby HATES IT! I've had it for 9 months. I HATE IT! It's not very flattering on me. etc. etc.

A week ago, I mentioned to Hubby that I need to lose this extra weight so I can fit into my closet* full of clothes.
"If you do that" He said. "I'll shave my beard."

My closet has clothes in various sizes. 0 (yes, at one point I was that tiny), 2 (the size I was wearing before I got preggo), 4, and size 6 (the heaviest I ever was before this heaviness).
And so we struck a deal. When I fit into my size 4 clothes, the beard comes off.
There's a condition tho. I can't fit into size 4 pants with a muffin top. Well, that's no fun! I thought as long as you can zip and button the pants, what's a little flab hanging over the top. Sure it ain't pretty, but the clothes fit...sorta.

FYI - that's NOT me in the pic....AND camouflage can't hide a muffin top!

* I can fit into my closet = I think wearing the closet might be easier than losing weight.

 OY! I have 20 pounds to lose.
Help me! I'm craving chocolate.

On the Radio

Obviously Critter is listening to NYC electromagnetic waves (the Radio) and his palette for hot music is diverse.. Last Friday, he had a fever, 102.7 (WWFS Fresh 102.7).  I took him to the doctor. Well, I guess Today's Music wasn't Fresh enough for him.The nurse took his temperature and it was a shocking 105.1 (WWPR Power 105.1). Hip Hop ruled the Doctor's office. They gave him a dose of Moltrin and told me to immediately take him to the hospital to have blood and urine taken and tested. A fever in babies is an indication of infection (Read about it here). At the hospital his temperature was 101.1 (WCBS). Critter wasn't singing a happy tune when they took urine (ouch! catheter) or blood (hello! needle). I couldn't look. They asked me to help hold his legs down and with my eyes closed I was holding and singing/talking to try calming him down.

At midnight (at home) his temperature rose to 103.5 (WKTU). He wanted to have a dance party. Heck, it WAS Saturday night. Acetaminophen helped keep it (the fever and dancing) under control for the rest of the night.

On Saturday morning Critter is off his radio station schedule, he woke up with a temperature of 102.5 (there's no station in NYC).

Sunday morning, he turned the dial back to 102.7 (Fresh). In the evening we got a call from the hospital. The blood culture is showing a bacteria.  It could either be, Critter does have a bacteria or the blood got contaminated from the hospital. We went back to the hospital so they can take more blood and be certain. He must like Oldies cause at the hospital is temperature was again 101.1.

Monday morning, Critter brought the dial back to the 80's, 90's and today's R&B, his temperature was 98.7 (WRKS - KISS FM). And has been fever free since.


We're going to the doctor on Wednesday to get results of second blood test.
Tune in then.