Let's Make a Deal

Hubby has a beard. I HATE IT! He's had it for years. I've HATED it for years! It's not very flattering on him. I don't think a beard is flattering on anyone (especially women). I don't mind a little stubble; a five o'clock shadow. But Hubby's beard is more like a stable with hay that needs to get raked. He'll let is grow and it becomes this wild looking frizzy, I don't even know what to call it. If I turned Hubby upside down, his beard would look like Don King's hair; minus all the white (hair that is, not skin tone).

A couple times a week I ask Hubby when he's gonna shave it. I really HATE it.
When Critter was younger he'd stick his hand in Hubby's beard as if it was a pocket. Who knows, maybe for warmth. Now Critter hangs on it and pulls himself up.

I have some fat. I'm sure Hubby HATES IT! I've had it for 9 months. I HATE IT! It's not very flattering on me. etc. etc.

A week ago, I mentioned to Hubby that I need to lose this extra weight so I can fit into my closet* full of clothes.
"If you do that" He said. "I'll shave my beard."

My closet has clothes in various sizes. 0 (yes, at one point I was that tiny), 2 (the size I was wearing before I got preggo), 4, and size 6 (the heaviest I ever was before this heaviness).
And so we struck a deal. When I fit into my size 4 clothes, the beard comes off.
There's a condition tho. I can't fit into size 4 pants with a muffin top. Well, that's no fun! I thought as long as you can zip and button the pants, what's a little flab hanging over the top. Sure it ain't pretty, but the clothes fit...sorta.

FYI - that's NOT me in the pic....AND camouflage can't hide a muffin top!

* I can fit into my closet = I think wearing the closet might be easier than losing weight.

 OY! I have 20 pounds to lose.
Help me! I'm craving chocolate.