Doctor Doctor Give Me the News…..LBJ

Doc: "How can I help you today?"
Me: "What can you do for what's growing in my belly?"
Doc: " Well, let's have a look."

He punched my name in the computer and 'POSITIVE' flashed on the screen in neon lights. Bells went off and ticker tape fell from the ceiling.

Doc: "Well well, you have a bun in the oven."
Me: "That's the word on the streets."

He proceeds to ask me questions:
"Is there a history of Diabetes in your family/"
"No"
High Blood Pressure?"
No"
"Breast Cancer? Do you smoke? Drink? On any prescription drugs?"
"No. No. N.o No."
"Are you using contraceptives?"
"Now you tell me!"

He examined my nether region and then a magic want went on...and viola! On a portable TV screen my insides appeared on channel 4.

"Look at that. It's a baby." He sounded shocked. All I saw was a little pebble.
"This is the head, the torso....."
"Well if you say so. As long as you're certain it's a baby and not a gall stone."

He hit print and I now have to start a photo album of black and whites.
I brought the 'photos' home and showed my husband. "Look! It's your offspring. It looks just like a Lima Bean."

We affectionately refer to it as 'Lima Bean' and 'Junior' and sometimes call it 'Lima Bean Junior' - LBJ for short.