JOY

Six Months have gone or should I say flew by since the birth of Critter or should I say the love of my life.

HAPPY HOLIDAYS TO ALL!

Back

To the right -------->;, it states there will be new posts on Mondays, Wednesdays and Fridays. Loyal reader you're probably wondering what happened on Friday. Let's start at the very beginning, a very good place to start.


A few years ago one of Hubby's brothers was picking up a blanket and hurt his back. He was in pain for days; Not being able to get up. And why am I telling you this? Follow me, will you.

Well, 2 years ago Hubby and I went to pick up Back Pain Brother, his wife and kids from the airport. I believe they were coming back from Canada. She-Ra Me Princess of Power lifted a suitcase and put it in the trunk. As soon as I lifted it, I felt a crack in my back. I didn't think much of it; my back always cracks. That night my back felt stiff and a little achy. The following morning I couldn't get out of bed. The pain was excruciating! Every time I tried to turn or lift my leg, I got a sharp shooting pain in my lower back. I was howling from the pain. For five days I was out of commission; I laid on a heating pad on the floor, took hot showers, rubbed Tiger Balm. Hubby had to help me with every step I took. I would put my foot down on the floor and a sharp spasm would shoot thru my back, rendering me crippled. I was powerless to this pain in my back (and I'm not talking about Hubby).

I called my doctor. He said that back pain as I described afflicts many people. It's very common. I can go to the emergency room, but they'd only give me pain killers. I can come into his office and get cortisone shots, or continue to do what I'm doing; heating pad, hot showers, ointments, wraps. I opted for the home remedies.

It has happened a few times after but not to the severe degree as the first time AND this past Thursday I was lifting Critter to put him in his stroller and I felt my back crack. That night I felt the stiffness (and I'm not talking about Hubby). Friday morning the pain was unbearable. The heating pad came out, the ointment jar was uncapped. Hubby didn't go to work and we set out with our tested routine of Back Therapy. I laid on the heating pad for a while, then took a long very hot shower massaging my lower back as the hot water hit it.  Tried to walk around a bit (I find if I sit or lay for long periods of time, the back pain is worse). Back on the heating pad. More walking; or should I say shuffling around. Hubby did all the work with Critter. Nursing him was a hurdle but we managed. I'd crawl into bed very slowly and hubby laid Critter next to me. Before I could position myself properly Critter had already found me and would be chomping away. Saturday, I was still in pain and achy, but presents for the holidays had to be purchased. We drove into Manhattan instead of taking the train so I'd be more comfy. Every pot hole we hit I cried in pain. Getting in and out of the car was a spectacle. Hubby would open the door, I'd inch one leg out at a time, grab the handle on the door and try to push my self up always crying in pain. Once I started walking, I felt better. Walking ie: shuffling along at a snails pace and every so often I'd stop, hunch over and yelp as a sharp pain shot through my lower back.
Sunday, the pain was worse, but I was determined not to let this cripple me. The Snail, Hubby and Critter went out for more shopping. We came back early and as soon as I shuffled thru the door, I ran (haha - took me about 10 minutes to walk to the bedroom) to the heating pad.

I'm grateful for Hubby for having patience thru this and doing the majority of the work. It can be very draining. I told Critter to be patient cause Mommy is Broken. He didn't quite understand and still wanted to play.
I'm feeling a lot better, still achy, but at least I'm more mobile than the past three days.

I make fun of Back Pain Brother-n-law all the time, cause my back pain started when I was lifting a suitcase not a lightweight fluffy blanket. And my I remind you it was a suitcase coming from Canada that I lifted (not stole) that started my back pain issues; so there's only one thing to do and that is to BLAME CANADA for my pain!

Pacifer

Babies are born to suck; not in the non-affirming life way; but the Merriam-Webster definition:

1 a: to draw (as liquid) into the mouth through a suction force produced by movements of the lips and tongue 
b: to draw something from or consume by such movements
c: to apply the mouth to in order to or as if to suck out a liquid

2 a: to draw by or as if by suction   
b: to take in and consume by or as if by suction 

Even when not eating ie: sucking down milk, babies like to suck for comfort. As a nursing mother, I've spent countless hours at the mercy of  my baby and with his mouth tightly wrapped around me barely moving his mouth. He's not drinking, he's just pacifying himself. AND he won't let go!

Plastic pacifiers are sold to tired and sore mothers around the world.  Many decry the plastic pacifer. Citing it causes nipple confusion for nursing babies. (Dr. Sears re: pacifers)  But yet to get some relieve, I was a sucker and bought a Paci. I was hesitant at first to offer it to Critter for the very reason of nipple confusion. At about 6 weeks old, Critter took/sucked on it for all but 20 seconds before spitting it out of his mouth. And to this day won't take a pacifier. You can't fool him. It ain't the real thing! 

Can you count to 20?

Spit! And by the look on his face "Mommy, you better not give that to me ever again, you hear!"

He's not a fussy baby and doesn't cry unless he's really really hungry and at that point the milkman woman better be ready! After he's had his milk meal, he'll pacify till he's asleep. Most times I don't mind being a human pacifer. I get to nuzzle with my baby and reflect on what a special time in my life this is.

The Mad Hatter

Hubby came home with a shopping bag. He took Critter and went into the Nurserice. I followed them, asking "What's in the Bag?"
"Go outside and close your eyes." Hubby replied.
"Open Your eyes."
"OMG, I want to eat him." I said as I looked at Critter wearing an cute hat.

Cute Hat

"Close your eyes." Hubby said, as they went back in.
"Open your eyes."
I shrieked when I saw Critter wearing a cuter hat.

Cuter Hat

It's Knit on the Top and Sides

"Close your eyes."
Yep, they went back in (these fashion shows can last a long time) and when I opened up my eyes, Critter was wearing a rat!!!

Furry Critter

I want to keep the cuter hat (#2). Hubby wants to keep the rat. I'm not feeding it!

Lost and Found

So when I said I'm a loser, boy I'm really a loser!

Last Friday, I posted about our lost camera. That evening after packing Critter's luggage and putting him in his stroller to head out. I turn around and make my way to the front door when lo and behold I notice the camera bag hanging on the dining room chair. D'OH! D'OH! and a Big D'OH!

 

On Monday, I started to clean out my closets (still not done :-/ ). I took out all my hangbags from the top shelf. A few went into the "Get Rid Of" pile and I went through the others and cleaned them out. Well, well, well! What do we have here in a large tote?? Critter's Foot!

He was happy to see it.

I washed it and gave it to him. Yep, stuck his foot right in his mouth.

In the tote bag I also found:

2 Indian bangles
1 pair of Crystal Earrings
Gold Ring
My plantinum wedding band (Didn't realize it was missing. Oooops!)
And a partridge in a pear tree (Not pictured)

Now if only that darn hat will reappear!

Beatlemania

When I'm in the kitchen, I put Critter in his chair, put on some music and slave over the stove. He likes one group a lot and will start moving his legs like crazy. He thinks it's Karoke and starts cooing and babbling. If I stand in front of him singing along and dancing, he starts giggling.

Unfortunately, when I pull out the camera to video tape him, he stops and just stares at it. I don't have any great videos of him doing Karole. But he really is a Beatle Fan!

John Lennon

October 9, 1940 - December 08, 1980

Hitting the Bottle

A baby should be born with a bottle attached to its hand; It's only a matter of time before it starts using it. My baby started hitting the bottle at one month old.

Prior to Critter's birth I dropped some serious coin on four Dr. Brown's Standard Neck 4 oz bottles after reading many great reviews for them in helping reduce Colic, Spit-up, Burping & Gas.

I just want to say B-U-L-L-$-H-I-T!!!! to the claims. And they were a pain to clean (too many parts).

Critter wasn't a colicky baby (Thank you little one) but he had gas. Some times it was so bad, we'd spend 45 minutes trying to burp him. And he often spit up during and after every feeding. While many have told me that his spit up isn't as bad as it could be, it was still frustrating. I have been spat on at all hours of the day. Every article of clothing I own has been hit by spit. We'd be doing the marathon of burp and we'd hear SPALT as spit hit our wood floor.

I didn't think Dr. Brown's was a miracle bottle; far from it; and after a month of using them I hit the internet AGAIN, researching bottles that would help minimize spit up. I also wanted a bottle/nipple that was closest to breast feeding. After reading some great reviews, I bought Playtex Ventaire. I played it safe and only bought one. Used it for a week and saw some improvement in spit (or lack of). So I bought a 3-pack of 9 oz. bottles.
Side-note: IMO, buying 4oz. bottles is a total waste as baby's will want to drink  more in a month or so.

Critter happily drinks 7 oz out of his crooked necked bottle.
Spit up is getting less and less to almost non existent.
And burping him is a breeze now.
But I'm sure it's also due to his getting bigger.
Now if only they can bottle baby cuteness and sell that and sell it as a keepsake.



And I can't believe I just linked the Jonas Brothers! AND such a stupid song/video to boot!! But I couldn't think of any other songs with Baby Bottle in Lyrics. So if you have any recommendations, please help, so I can replace this ridiculous song/video..

I'm a Loser

Of all the things we had that I have lost

there is one thing I should never have crossed

It was an object in a million, my friend

I should have known it would be lost in the end



While I was preggo (feels like years ago), I "lost" my memory.
Well, I'm not pregnant anymore so what's my excuse now? I still forget to do things. I wake up saying I need to do XY and Z. I end up doing ABC.

But now it's worse. I'm forgetting where I put things, or more accurately, I'm forgetting to bring things back home from wherever we go.
My baby has "luggage" he travels with every time we step out of the house. "Luggage" filled with essentials and "just in case" things. I go into the bag to get diapers, another burp cloth, a change of clothes, a toy, etc. While visiting people, his things tend to get strewn around, and at the end of the night I frantically run around collecting his things. Weeeeell, not everything seems to make it back home.

In the last month, I have lost:
One bottle cover (no big loss, his bottles don't leak)
A gelly filled teether in the shape of a foot. He loved to 'chew' on this. It came in a set. We still have the hand.

He loved to put his foot in his mouth

His winter hat. I should say no loss cause his winter outer suit (?) has a hoodie but it was a nice hat and we had been looking for a hat that'll cover his ears w/o animal faces (barf!) for a long time when I stumbled upon it in Old Navy (so it wasn't too expensive). But I still think of that hat often cause he looked sooooooo adorable in it.

and now I lost: THE CAMERA!!!
Yes, that piece of mechanical equipment that takes images so you can reflect on them at a later date. A time machine into the past.
It wasn't an expensive camera but it was my vessel to acquiring pictures and videos of the love of my life so I can have lots to look at in my old age. To remember the most precious and treasured time of my life.

I searched our apt. high and low and I now think we left it at a friend's house over Thanksgiving weekend. The last time I remember using it was to video tape Critter in their indoor swimming pool.
Readers, don't be jealous of the indoor pool, just send cash to help replace the camera if it isn't found.

The Art of Breastfeeding

or should I say, the Stress of Breastfeeding.

A woman has breasts, a baby has a mouth and is born to suck, so you'd think breastfeeding would work in perfect harmony.
HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA!!!!!

I knew I wanted to breastfeed Critter. The health benefits for baby and mother are unparalleled. As women, we're built to birth and nurse. Sure breasts come in different shapes and sizes but these body parts aren't just for fun you know.

As soon as you give birth, the little baby is ready to suck and so it starts. While in the hospital I called for the lactation consultant 3X to insure I was shoving my boob in his mouth properly. Yep, I was doing it right. So what could go wrong at home?

At home, I was stressed out to the limit. Having a newborn isn't all roses (more on this in a later post). Things (milk wise) were flowing smoothly until the 3rd week when Critter constantly wanted to eat! I didn't know why. I thought I was doing something wrong. I thought maybe he wasn't latching on properly anymore. I would feed him, put him down to nap and 30 minutes later he'd wake up crying for more boob. I was ready to tear my hair out of my head.

While preggo, a good friend had sent me several books, one being: The Nursing Mother's Companion
Admittingly, I didn't read it. I put it aside thinking 'Who the heck needs a book to tell them about breastfeeding. It'll just come naturally.' Well, the 3rd week Critter was home and at my wit's end, I ran to the book case, pulled out the book and started reading it. EVERYTHING I had been frustrated / confused by was there in print. Explained and with guidelines / remedies.
At 3 weeks old, babies go thru a growth spurt and want to eat constantly. I was relieved to learn this and so much more.

So, I continued to breastfeed. BUT Critter looked thin to me, so I took him to the doctor to have him weighed (3 weeks old). He hadn't gained weight since his 2-week old visit. Huh?!?! How could it be? The kid is always on me eating. Doctor suggested I bottle feed him. He suggested I use formula or pumped breast milk, but I bottle feed to insure Critter is getting the amount of milk he needs. And bring him back in a week to have him weighed. If he hasn't gained weight, then there might be another cause for the lack of weight gain.

Bottle feed?!?! Formula?!?!?! I have boobs dammit! Albeit, not very big ones. But it's not the size of the vessel but the flow of the river; or what other corny cliche you want to twist to fit the scenario. Why aren't my boobs working? To say I was devastated is an understatement. I felt like I failed my child. I failed as a mother and as a woman.

We bottle fed Critter for a week stored breast milk I had previously expressed for rainy days and sure enough he gained weight. The first time I gave him a bottle I cried my little heart out as he was sucking the mild down. My boobs have failed me! I was adamant about finding out why. I read, read and read everything about breastfeeding.

There are so many factors in successful breastfeeding. Proper latching on, diet, Stress, etc. There are numerous websites, books, support groups, consultants.If you're having problems, Reach out and touch someone.

In my efforts to still provide Critter with Mother's golden liquid, I'm pumping, taking herbs (Fenugreek), drinking a tea (Mother's milk), eating oatmeal, massaging, drinking lots of water. But I'm still short on providing him with enough so I' m supplementing with formula. Some days it's half me / half powder, other days it's more my milk.

After beating myself up for not being enough of a boob, I've come to terms and resolved that I tried my best to only breast feed and it's okay that he's on formula also.My baby is healthy and happy and that is all that matters.

 

Critter hitting the Bottle

Time

Where is time going????

 

I blinked and five months went by since Critter was born.
I don't want him to grow up. I look at older kids and think NOOOOOOOOO! Not my baby. Please stay this age forever and ever.

Someone please make time go slower. This stage of babyhood is going by too fast. I'm loving every minute with my baby but it's not enough time. Never enough time in the day.

I"ll admit, I don't do much in the day.  I spend many hours looking at Critter. I mean, I'll just sit there and stare at him in awe. I'm amazed with everything that he does. I can watch him for hours doing what a baby does. We laugh and giggle while I sing silly made up songs to him.

When he smiles, my heart melts. When he laughs, I feel happiness.

Tomorrow's Topic: The Art of Breastfeeding

Where Have I Been?

I've been busy with a baby.
I never realized how my time will be consumed by a little wee one. My entire day now revolves around taking care of Little Critter. AND I LOVE EVERY MINUTE.
For the first 3 months, you really can't do anything else. I'm  now finding that I can get other things done and am trying to manage my time better.

So, look for more posts on a regular basis. I hope.

Announcements

When a baby is born, proud parents send out cards announcing the arrival of their baby. It has a photo or two or three with baby's birth date, weight and length. Who remembers that info anyway?

Weeeeell, we still haven't done the Baby Announcements!
YIKES!! What are we waiting for?

Of course we have lots and lots of photos of Critter but......

When he was born, he had newborn rash (Erythema Toxicum) on his face. His skin was very splotchy. Not great for photo ops.

Critter w/ Newborn Rash - 2 weeks old

 After that cleared up for a few days, he went into the teenage years and got baby acne, little pimples all over. Clearasil is a NO NO for babies.

Critter w/ Baby Acne - 3 weeks old

We figured we'd wait till after his skin cleared up for photos. We're vain. Then when Critter was a month old we shaved his head of all his baby hair.

Critter w/ shaved hair - One Month Old

In hubby's culture, they shave the head in order for the hair to grow stronger. Then we wanted to wait till his hair grew in a bit for photos. Yes, we're very vain.

Two and half months after Critter was born, we FINALLY did the announcements! I HATE THEM!!! The photos are tooooooo dark and the paper sucks. I'm now in the process of re- doing them MYSELF! So hold on, the announcements will be in your mailboxes shortly....just in time for Critter to start college.

In the ideal world, at the hospital they should have a photo studio, a few days after you have the baby, you go and have photos taken. They do baby's hair and makeup and capture all the moments. They prop the baby against a fuzzy rug, curl its feed under its body, butt in the air and Snap, Snap, Snap.
Cause who has time to do this after they come home with a newborn!

Stripes

How many striped outfits can one baby boy have?
And after I took these pictures, HE GOT MORE STRIPPED OUTFITS!

He's outgrown some, but he has others. I'm officially sick and tired of looking at stripes.

I can't figure out why this picture got rotated :-(

My favorite is the one on the right. Snaps on the front are so much easier than snaps on the bottom.

3 Months

Three months ago today, The Little Critter was born. I can't believe how fast these past months went by. Everyday I smooch my baby and hold him so close to me saying I don't want him to grow up. I want him to stay this age forever!


The things I'll miss that he used to do but doesn't anymore are:
- the uncontrollable movements of his hands. He would spastically reach out with both hands and they'd move as if driving a car. Or he'd shake them as if shaking maracas.
- Sleep grins. The innocent smile that he made in his sleep. He still does it, but not as much.
- While feeding he used to raise his eyebrows while sucking away.
- Hubby used to be able to put him over his arm like a monkey hanging from a tree limb.

My baby is growing up!

Gift Giving

I didn't have a baby shower prior to having Critter because of cultural reasons. Once he was born people came to visit and the gifts started pouring in.

The best gifts to give expectant or new parents:
- Anything off their baby registry. Believe it or not, parents to be spend hours in a Baby Too Much Crap Store, looking at EVERYTHING. Debating, arguing and finally selecting what they'd like.

- Moola. Dinero, Dough, Loot - Cash is King.

- Gift card to a Baby Store. New parents are gonna make lots of trips to 'the store' and will always need things down the road.

- Nursing Pillow - If you know the mother will be nursing, It's a back saver. Without a pillow(s) during nursing, I tend to hunch over and kill my back in the process.

- Diapers, Diapers and more Diapers - This is the last thing new parents want to think about.

- Burp Cloths - You can never have too many. Babies spit up and better on a burp cloth than on a human.

- Cloth Diapers - I use them as burp clothes; they're more absorbent than the cutsie burp cloths. I use them under my babies head so if he spits up it lands on the cloth diaper and not the furniture.

- Medical Kit - with a thermometer, etc. As a never before parent, that thermometer is going to get good usage....and early. The first week Critter was home, I reached for it.

- Grooming Kit - Precious needs to have hair coiffed with a brush and nails manicured with a clipper.

- Swaddler - THE BEST GIFT EVER!!!! For parents that can't manage to wrap a newborn in a blanket tightly like a burrito. And babies LOVE to be wrapped up.
Thank you to my 6yr old nieces and 4yr old nephew for my favorite gift!

(Critter in his Swaddler)

We'll be Back on Monday

Next week (Monday) I promise to be back with anecdotes about nursing, presents, diapers, etc.

Until then......

Critter's angry Mommy isn't writing enough about him
(photo taken July 15th, 2010, 3 week old Critter)

Labor of Love

It's been 11 weeks since the birth of The Little Critter.

Over the weekend, I was talking to one of my sister-n-laws about my "birthing" experience and I've come to realize that I was jipped out of having a natural delivery. I was 'induced' and barely. In hindsight, I probably would have gone into labor on my own if I held out a few more days.

On June 23th I went to the hospital to be induced into labor cause The Little Critter was late.

(right before we headed to hospital)

Hubby and I got there at 8am, filled out paperwork, got settled into a labor room and I and my belly were hooked up to monitors and at 11am the induction started. The doctor inserted something [forget the name] into me to help my cervix thin out. I was told they'll do that every four hours until I go into labor and it may take 6 doses. Holy! That could be like 24 hours.

And the wait game started. The next four hours dragged. Hubby and I talked, read magazines, tried to nap, played cards. Nurses came in every so often to check my blood pressure.
The monitor was indicating I was having major contractions, but I didn't feel a thing. Well, I did, but it just felt like critter kicking.

3pm - Nurses came in to administer the next dose of that cervix thinning thing. They consulted the doctor and decided that my contractions were too strong but I'm not dilating and they'll wait a few hours for the next dose.

5pm - Next dose of thinning thing. Waiting some more. Again the monitor is showing I'm having more major contractions. I don't feel a darn thing but cramps. Everyone is amazed at my pain tolerance. Hey, I'm married after all.

(monitor indicating contractions)

9pm - They decide that my contractions are too strong but I haven't dilated so they don't give me another dose of Thin Thing. Instead, with all the medical technology out there they revert to the old method of having me walk. That's right, I'm told to walk. So Hubby and I walked; up and down the halls of the maternity ward. We passed labor rooms and heard screaming women. How I envied them. I wanted to be going through that. Back in our room, I did squats. We walked some more.

10pm - they hooked me back up on the monitors. I was dilated one centimeter. One efing centimeter! How long is this gonna take??

Midnight - I was dilated 3 centimeters. I was told to walk some more. We walked the halls of the labor ward. Back and forth. Smiling each time we passed the nurses station. Hubby and I decided to walk to the nursery and look at the babies in the window. We walked quickly hoping I'd go into labor along the way and we can just drop Critter into a waiting plexi basket.We looked at the babies. Awwwww, how cute but ours will be the cutest, if it ever comes out. We kept walking. Going from one end of the hospital to the other. I was determined to walk this baby out.

2am - after walking for two hours I was still only 3 centimeters dilated and I was hooked back onto the monitors.

Starting at about 4am, my water broke and contractions started happening. I can feel them this time! They felt like major cramps.

6am - Contractions becoming stronger and more frequent. I was 5 centimeters. They offered me an epidural. I jumped on it as the pain was becoming stronger, but not yet unbearable.

6:30am - The bells and whistles sound on the monitors. So many nurses and my doctor come rushing in. Critter is in distress; heart rate dropped to 60. My doctor says he needs to get Critter out NOW. I'm wheeled to the OR in tears. Hubby is confused. So much mayhem, Hubby is left behind. NO, he wasn't in the OR room with me.

I was so dazed from lack of sleep, it's almost been 24 hours. I don't remember much of the procedure. I remember staring up at the blaring lights. I felt tugging and pulling. Nurses were talking. And then I heard "It's a boy."


It's not the way I imagined my childbirth experience to be. I had wanted a natural delivery. I wanted to know what it felt like as a woman to bring a child into this world. I wanted a story of labor to recant. Not just, I got sliced open. I wanted to feel the pain, the joy. I wanted to scream and yell at my husband as I was hurting. I wanted to see the joy on Hubby's face as Critter first came out.

Where Have I Been?

Well, it's been almost 8 weeks and not a peep out of me!

Why didn't anyone tell me that after having a baby I wouldn't have time to do ANYTHING but feed him, change diapers and kiss him all day long!!

Sheesh, I thought when he napped which is about 14-18 hours a day, I'd have time to do things. WRONG!!!!!
He sleeps in 1-2 hour increments. By the time I get my A$$ up to do something he's already fidgeting for the next feeding.

The first month was exhausting! It's getting better. We're learning to manage time and now I'm able to get some things done when Hubby is home.

Tomorrow I'll be back with a re-cap of something. I hope.

Little Critter is Here!!!

At the hospital a couple hours after being born.

Chillin' at home.

We'll Be Back Next Week

I didn't disappear after having Critter.
We had a death in the family.
We'll be back to updating on Monday with photos, birth day details (not too graphic), etc.

New Baby

IT'S A BOY!!!
Thursday, June 24th, 2010
7:04am

Tomorrow

Unless this Baby decides to move out on its own within the next 7 hours.......
The son (or daughter) will come out TOMORROW!

Pudgy Baby

I still can't get over the possibility that Critter might be born weighing 8 lbs.....8 POUNDS!!!!

So many people have said not to worry about it and it's just a guesstimate and not accurate.
BUT WHAT IF IT IS 8 lbs?
Holy......how the heck? My Birth Plan was to have a quick and painless 10 minute delivery with a cute little healthy baby, not a Sumo Wrestling size baby.

Okay, I'm starting to panic now. What if Critter decides it never wants to come out but wants to stay inside me and keep growing and growing? It may grow to be bigger than that 19lb baby in Indonesia.

What if I can't deliver this super sized kid naturally? I don't want to be cut up!

I'm starting to regret every sugar laced item I ate, every bowl of Asian noodle soup I ordered, every plate of Biryani I devoured; always helping myself to a second portion, every scoop of Ralph's creme Ices I stuffed into my mouth. THOSE DARN CRAVINGS!!!!

I blame everyone around me. That's it! It's everyone's fault....not mine. NO ONE stopped me from indulging. People told me to eat whatever I wanted, that I'm eating for two. Well, gosh darn it, while I'm struggling in that delivery room to push a heifer out and in major pain, those same people are gonna be sitting on their comfy sofas pain free eating a meal.

While many people say it doesn't look like I gained 45 pounds. I HAVE! That's 10 pounds more than what is recommended gain weight during a pregnancy. Some of the weight gain is in my Butt and Thighs but it's now obvious all those extra pounds are on the baby.....a big fat pudgy baby that's gonna be too big to pass through my birth canal without tearing me from here to California!

Oh my gosh, I'm so stressed out. I need some chocolate!

Today Would be a Good Day

Hello you in my belly. Can you hear me? Hellooooooooooo, Little Critter.

If you made your entry into the world today it would be a very
HAPPY FATHER"S DAY!!!!

Dear Critter,

You were supposed to arrive on Saturday, June 12th. Your father and I have been anticipating your arrival for some time now. We've been preparing for your long stay with us. The apt. is very clean and tidy. There's a special area for you next to my side of the bed. There's clothes in your closet and toys for you to play with....and plenty of hugs and kisses ready to be dispensed.

Lots of people have been asking about you and are ready to welcome you.

Where were you? Your father and I aren't going to tolerate tardiness. I've let you have your way for the past nine months and accepted all that you've done; but for you not to show up when they said you would is unacceptable behavior on your part.

Your daddy and I are very mobile active people, always going out and exploring and you're going to need to keep up with us. The world is vast with lots to see and do. You need to be punctual and ready to go out in a timely manner. None of this lollygagging!

The Doctor who's been monitoring you for the past 7 months is now talking about inducing me to get you out. You don't want to put us through that as there are some risks.
http://www.babycenter.com/0_inducing-labor_173.bc

So Critter, please make every effort on your part to come out.
We're waiting and ready.

Induction into the Hall of Maternity

According to a pregnancy calendar, I shouldn't have seen the doctor yesterday (Wednesday) cause Critter should have been in my arms last Saturday.

Doc checked me out on the inside. Critter sure is nestled up in there! Doc looked thru my belly. Heartbeat seems good, there's fluid surrounding the baby.

I'm 4 days overdue and not that Doc is worried but because of my age; hey, I thought age was only a number, besides I'm not sporting a walker yet or have blue hair; he wants me to go for a Sonogram and fetal monitoring as soon as possible (I got an appt for today). And then see him again on Saturday (19th) morning.

And if Critter isn't here by next Wednesday (23rd), the nasty word 'Induce' came up. No way do I want to be induced!

I went for the Sonogram / monitoring this morning.
Blood Pressure, Temperature, Urine in a cup. If I can actually see past my belly, I might be able to aim it in the cup!
Measured my belly. From the top to the bottom it's 38-1/2"

Into a room I went. I shared the room with another preggo with a curtain dividing us. Nurse/Tech hooked up two round flat things on my belly to monitor Critter's heart for 15 minutes. The machine was turned on and the band started to play. I could hear Critter's heart thumping away. I could also hear my 'roommate's' baby's heart beating. For the first couple of minutes it was interesting listening to what seemed like a group of tone deaf teenagers practicing for the Battle of the Bands with their older sibling's out of tune instruments. BUT 10 minutes into it I was ready to confess everything and tear apart the floor boards to reveal the Tell-Tale Heart!

Nurse/Tech was looking at a computer screen with squiggly lines and #'s and from where I was laying all hooked up to the machine, I can see numbers changing from 148, 151, 155 back to 148. What does that mean??

Then off to the sonogram. Expose the overdue belly, machine went on my mound and Critter was on the screen. Measured the head, the stomach, it's femur, the fluid, etc., etc. Is it okay? Is everything fine? Why can't I find out the results now instead of waiting till I see my Doc on Saturday?????

Sonogrammer said Critter right now is estimated at 7 lbs 15 ounces.
WHAT!!!!!!!
That's almost 8lbs!!! That's huge!
Oh my goodness......How the heck is Critter gonna come out of 'THERE'??????
Ouch! Ouch! and OUCH!!!!!!

GET THIS PUDGY BABY OUT OF ME NOW! or I'm going to put it on a diet till next Wednesday, planned Induction Day.

Waiting

I've been waiting a long time
For this moment to come
I'm destined
For anything...at all
Downtown lights will be shining
On me like a new diamond
Ring out under the midnight hour
No one can touch me now
And I can't turn my back
It's too late ready or not at all
- Waiting, Green Day




So I'll be waiting
'cus I cant smile until I see your smile
I'll be waiting
there's nothing else that I would rather do
I'll be waiting
'cus I can't sleep until I hear your heart
I'll be waiting
patiently I'll wait right here for you

Waiting, waiting, waiting, waiting
Patiently I'll wait right here for you
Waiting, waiting, waiting, waiting
Patiently I wait
- Waiting, Beyonce

Due Date

Today is my 'Due' Date and Critter is nowhere to be seen!

We're giving it till midnight and then sending out a search party.

My Favorite Things

With only one day till Critter is 'DUE', I've been reflecting about this pregnancy.

Looking back I hate to admit, I've had a really easy time. Compared to some other pregnancies I've heard and/or read about, mine was a breeze. Sure I was nauseous in the beginning, congested most of the time, my back aches and my feet are swollen to the size of cinder blocks.
But the reality is, I felt good most of the time and had no major health issues and I'm thankful.

It was fascinating experiencing a pregnancy and reading and discovering about the stages of embryo / fetus development. We even watched a DVD - National Geographic The Biology of Prenatal Development.

Some women love being pregnant and feel gorgeous; I'm looking at you Heidi Klum; I can't say I feel / felt that way.
It's been an experience, that's for sure. It was interesting seeing my body go thru changes but I didn't feel gorgeous or more of a woman.

Will I miss being pregnant? Probably not.
Will I look back at this time in my life fondly. Of Course.

I hate to admit but I do enjoy when Critter moves around inside. I actually enjoy sitting around with hubby watching my belly. There were specific times Critter was most active; 7am-10am, 1pm-3pm and 7pm-Midnight. In the evenings, we'd sit around watching it, waiting...waiting for movements. I'd feel Critter moving and the the show would start. We became active participants by egging it on.

- I'll miss Hubby tickling my belly to get a reaction from critter. Critter would kick or jab and hubby would push the spot and critter would kick back.
- I'll miss Hubby talking into my belly, telling Critter to kick Mommy.
- I'll miss playing 'Guess the Body Part'. We'd feel around my belly and try to figure out if it's Critter's foot, elbow, hand, etc.
- I'll miss Hubby massaging my cinder block feet every night.
- I'll miss laying in bed and Hubby holding me and caressing my belly.

These have been my favorite things about being pregnant.


Ripples in stomach and jabs in my belly
Hubby pressing me where I'm swelly
Critter pushing back and my tummy springs
These are a few of my favorite things

With the back pains
With the pound gains
When I'm feeling fat
I simply remember my favorite things
And then I don't feel soooo bad

The Day After

The day after I deliver, for lunch I want a Smoked Turkey Sandwich with Pepper Jack Cheese on a soft baguette with mustard (not the cheap kind, but with real seeds), roasted red peppers, lettuce, tomato and pickles.

And for dinner, I want Sushi from our favorite Sushi place. I want a Sashimi Salad to start, then some hand rolls and sushi that include, spicy tuna, eel and avocado, yellowtail and scallion, salmon skin and cucumber.

I've gone so long without!

Doctor Visit

Was today my last doctor's visit?
It should be, given that my Estimated Due Date is Saturday, June 12.
But I have another appointment next week with the Man with the degrees on the wall just in case Critter is not punctual.

I told Doc, Critter isn't moving as much anymore and asked if I should be worried. He looked at critter intently and said everything seems normal and if the baby is moving several times a day not to worry.
That's a relief.

Dinner Plans

Recently we've been going out with friends a lot.
"Let's have dinner before you have the baby." Our friends said.
AND not only one set of friends, but so many have said that.
Do they think we're never going to go out again after Critter arrives.

Maybe they think as soon as we come home from the hospital, Critter is going to leap out of the car seat, run to the front door and bolt it shut. It turns around and with an evil grin on its face says:
BWWAAAAAAA! You're trapped now! I will destroy your social life. You ain't never getting out now!

The Name Game

With only a few days till Critter is 'DUE' we still haven't settled on what to legally call Critter!

We have one name we like if it's a ______.
And since (almost) everyone thinks it's going to be a _________ based on my belly shape, Hubby has been brainwashed into believing it and won't think of names for the other sex. Everything I've suggested if it's not a _______, he's poo pooed.

Something to Talk About

People are talkin',
talkin' about Critter
I hear them whisper,
you won't believe it
They think it's a _________.

Everyone and their mother (and strangers) is predicting the sex of Critter. It seems like lots of people know what a preggo belly shape has inside.

Every time I see Mom: "100% it's a _____."
Friend: "I looked exactly like you. You're going to have a _____."

The other day, I was getting Chinese take-out. Standing and waiting for my order, a woman says: 'Whatcha got in there? Looks like a ______.'
'I don't know what I'm having. We decided not to find out.' I politely replied.
She then walked all around me and checked me out from all angles. "Oh, it's definitely a _____."
And then we had a lengthy conversation.

Hubby and I went out to dinner the other night. The woman serving our food "It's a ______, right?" We replied that we don't know, etc. A convo developed and ended with her pulling out pics of her 3 day old granddaughter.

Time is running out, So place your bets now! Are you going to be right?
Will it be a boy or a girl?

Birth Plan

The two books I've been reading both talk about creating a Birth Plan.

And expectant mother outlines the birth scenario; how she'd ideally like labor and delivery to play out. It's between the parents and Doctor/hospital or birthing center.
It can be very basic or extremely detailed.

Some things that a Birth Plan can cover are:
- When you'll go to hospital or birthing center
- Walking around or sitting up during labor
- Eating and drinking during labor
- Personalizing the room with music, lighting, etc.
- Using mirrors if you want to see the birth
- Use of IV
- Use of pain medications
- Fetal monitoring
- Inducing labor
- Massage
- Vacuum or forceps use
- Father aiding in deliver/cutting the cord
And so on and so on

Geez, I just thought you go into the room, push and yell at the top of your lungs and then you hear the baby cry hours later.

I didn't create a 'Birth Plan' to hand out to all parties involved in the room. I really don't care about music and lighting. And my doctor will guide me if things (emergency measures) need to happen. The two things that are important to me (being as upright as possible and nursing critter right away), my doctor and the hospital encourage anyway.

My ideal Birth Plan would go something like this.
- A mild contraction happens at home. I say "Hubby, we should go to the hospital."
- We drive to hospital, stopping before to have a delicious lunch and a pedicure.
- We're admitted. Nurse checks me out and says "You're ready to deliver."
- We're in the birthing room laughing, joking around. I'm not in any pain. My doctor comes in and says "Push", I gently push and Critter is in my hands.
The entire process takes 10 minutes

NOW THAT'S A BIRTH PLAN!

Contraction

This morning when I saw the man with the medical degrees on the wall, he rubbed the jelly on my belly. We were checking out critter on the screen and at some point he said: "You just had a contraction!"
I didn't feel a thing.
But for the past several days, once a day I have been feeling cramp like somethings. Can they be Braxton Hicks?

Baby Got Back (Pain)

When I started gaining pregnancy weight, I've been packing much Back, thanks to Baby! Sir Mix-a-lot would be happy.

What I didn't anticipate is packing back pain!

OMGosh Becky!
Look at my back.
It's so sore.
I feel like, one of those hunched over girls.
But, you know, who understands this back pain?
It only comes to me, because,
I feel like a total preggo, 'kay?
I mean, my back, it just so hurts.
I can't believe it's just so stiff, it's like,
out there, I mean - ouch. Look!
I'm just so ... in pain!

I'm tired of books
Saying back pain is the thing
Take the average preggo and ask her that
She packs much back (pain)

I want to Dial 1-900-FIXABACK
And kick these nasty pains.

I Forgot!

My memory isn't the best.
After I got pregnant, it' got worse.

The other day in reference to my memory, Hubby said: "I hope that while you're out, you don't ever forget to take the baby out of the car and take it with you."

How the heck does someone forget to do that?? I may have my ditsy moments, but I'm not an idiot. I think!?!
Critter is going to change my entire lifestyle and I believe me I'll remember that....and remember to grab Critter and drag it wherever I go.

Maybe to be on the safe side, I should get a tattoo on my hand "Take the Baby with You"

Laundress

"Don't buy clothes for the baby. Everyone will give you clothes." So many people said.

What if we don't get clothes? What if people give us clothes but weeks after critter is born?

We're not hippies, Critter can't be naked!
So, we bought a few things in neutral unisex colors. And when I say a few, I mean a few, cause there isn't much available in non-gender specific colors!!

I wanted to wash everything before putting it away. I took everything out of the packaging and made a pile of critter's laundry.

We live in a building and have a common laundry room that all the tenants use. Every week I go down there and do a few loads. They just redid the room and upgraded the machines to the HE ones. The room is bright, it's clean, it's nice.

Hubby saw the pile of baby belongings and said:
"I don't think you should wash them in the machines. You don't know what people put in there."
"um, I think they put their dirty clothes in and thru technology the clothes got clean." I replied.
"I think you should hand wash everything." He said.
"huh?!?!? Hand wash all these things?" I said, looking at the pile.
I do hand wash delicate things; like lacy undergarments, silk and cashmere items.
BUT cotton onsies?!?!?!?
"I'm serious. I don't want the baby getting a rash or a skin infection." He persisted.....and persisted...and persisted.

Not to argue, I disinfected the bathroom sink, just like I do before I wash delicate items and I started washing what seemed like doll clothing. I took one item at a time, soaked it; then I added some detergent and washed it, rinsed, then added detergent and washed it again; rung it and hung it on a drying rack.
I repeated the steps for more onsies, sleeping onsies, a few socks and hats.
I was exhausted after washing only a few items and I had many more things to wash; more onsies, receiving blankets, Co-Sleeper sheets, waterproof liners, etc.

ENOUGH!!! This is insane. He wants things hand washed, he can do it himself!!

I'm taking the rest of the stuff down to the laundry room and using the washing machines that EVERYONE (Yikes!) in the building uses!

Shhhh....don't tell Hubby.

Critter isn't a Lowlife

3 WEEKS TO GO!

Doc walked into the exam room today and Hubby and I bombarded him with questions.
Q: "If it's a boy who does the circumcision?"
A: He does.
Q: "One of the nurses said I have to take a Tuberculosis test. Why?"
A: No, I don't. And he's not sure why they would say that.
Q: "Are you scissor happy? Or will you let me labor thru this?" (Meaning will he be quick to perform an Episiotomy - which I don't want)
A: No. Unless there's a health risk to the baby. He believes in as natural a birth as possible.
Q: "Will you be opposed to me squatting during labor?"
A: I can do whatever I need to deliver this child. The bed reclines fully upright.

YEAH! YEAH!! AND ANOTHER YEAH!!!

He examined my innards.
"Is the baby breech?" He sounded alarmed. "Let's check it out."

He rubbed the jelly on my belly and put the wand to the mound and critter was on the screen.
"Okay, there's the head. In the right position. The baby hasn't dropped* yet."
"Is that bad?" I asked
"No. Just means you won't deliver anytime soon."

* During the final weeks of pregnancy, the baby drops in the belly to get ready to come out into the world. Well, mine has decided it's very comfy up in there and doesn't want to be a lowlife.

Got Milk?

***WARNING: Adult Content***

Before I got knocked up I really didn't know much about pregnancy. Actually, not sure I know much now either! But one of the things I thought happened during pregnancy was your TaTas filled up and became these huge jugs of milk. Thinking, they'll need to serve a real purpose now besides for Hubby's entertainment.

WRONG!!! Or at least not with mine.
Sure they've grown a little bit, but I thought I'd need two wheel barrels to put them in and push them around.

Mama's milk is the best source of nutrients for a baby AND is packed with substances that help a baby fight illness. There are also great benefits to the mother in fighting some cancers. Etc., Etc., Etc.
You can read all about it here:
American Academy of Pediatrics
Womenshealth.gov

I plan on nursing 'TLC' or I hope to... if I can.
But looking down at my food source, I'm not sure 'TLC' will have enough for one meal.
I mentioned it to a few mothers and they all said, not to worry, the breasts fill in with milk a few days AFTER childbirth.

uuuum, excuse me, pardon me, uuuuum, I have to ask...but....what am I supposed to feed The Little Critter the first couple of days???

Wake Up Call

The phone doesn't ring and there's a lovely recorded voice telling me to wake up.
My alarm clock doesn't go off alerting me it's time to rise and shine.

BUT every morning at 4:00am, my bladder sends a signal to my sleeping head. I do the 'Roll, Drop, Push', get on my feet and in the dark waddle to the bathroom, bumping into every wall along the way.

And then I try to go back to sleep only to toss and turn (okay, not turn cause now Hubby has to push me so I can turn) for two to three hours until 7:00am when Critter decides it's time to take a fork and spoon in its hands and start pounding my inner walls for breakfast.

This morning, the bladder alarm went off at 2:30am!!!! AND again at 4:30am!!! AND at 6:30am!!!
Is the end near?

Uncommon Sights

I never thought I'd live to see this sight.

There's a Co-Sleeper in our bedroom.
http://www.armsreach.com/shop-3/the-mini-6/


And a crib in the 'Nurserice', where our desk was.


We're slowly being overrun with baby paraphernalia.
My life will never be the same again.

Udder Butter

Doc moved the paper robe to expose my belly so he can rub the Critter viewing camera over it.

"No stretch marks." He said.
"I dip myself in a vat of Shea Butter every morning." I replied.
"Most people use Cocoa Butter. Why Shea Butter?" He asked.
"I read somewhere, it's better for stretch marks. I went up to Harlem and got a tub of it."
"The best thing for pregnancy stretch marks is Udder Butter." He responded.
"Huh. What's Udder Butter?" I quizzed.

He told me it's a lanolin based product used on cows udders to prevent chafing.

GREAT!!!! My doctor thinks I'm a cow!

Forty Days Later

Ever since Hubby and I got married over 10 years ago my mother has been pestering us to have a baby.
"Have some kids, it's good for your future."
"Why can't you get pregnant? Go to my doctor, maybe he can help you."
"Are you doing something not to get pregnant?"
"I'm knitting baby booties, so you better get pregnant soon."
She has said over the years to me or hubby.

When my mother found out I was pregnant, she cried, screamed, praised God and then told me not to have 'relations' (trying to keep it PG) with hubby, it may hurt the baby.

One Sunday we were at Mom's and Hubby was in the kitchen helping her.

She told him. "Forty days after this baby comes, you try to have another one".

Let the Memory Live Again

I opened the refrigerator and put the box of cereal away.
I opened the upper kitchen cabinet to get the milk.
I opened the dresser drawer and forgot what I needed to get.
I picked up the phone to call...now who did I just want to call?!?!?!?
I was holding a spoon and it slipped out of my hand.
I was going into the living room and walked into the wall.
I was walking out of the bedroom and bumped into the bed.

And so many more klutzy moments!

Gain a Fetus, Lose Your Mind!

Happy Mother's Day

My husband asked me what I wanted for Mother's Day.

Isn't it obvious.......I want food!!

I'm Down On My Knees

[THUD]

"What was that?" Hubby asked as he lay in bed facing away from me.
"What?"
"That noise. Did you fall?" He turned and had a concerned look on his face.
"I just got up."
"But what was that loud noise?"

So, I'm having a hard time maneuvering out of bed! We have a platform bed. It's closer to the ground then one with a box spring and mattress. I roll over to the edge of the bed, drop my knees to the floor (that's the Thud he heard and now hears every morning) and push against the bed with my hands to be able to get up on my feet.

I've been waking up in the middle of the night for a bathroom run, so I have to do the 'Roll, Drop, Push" method twice every morning!

[THUD]
[THUD]

I'm now wearing knee pads and fatigues to bed. I tell you....it's a battle!

Everyday it's a Gettin' Closer

WEEK 35!

"Everyday it's a-gettin' closer
Goin' faster than a roller coaster
Love like yours will surely come my way"



I put on the paper robe and the tie wouldn't fit around my waist!
Doc comes into the room. "What do you have in there?" He asked pointing to my belly.
"You keep telling me it's a baby. Have you been lying to me all these months?" I responded.

He went over my results from last week's Sono. Everything is normal.
He examined my innards - Normal
He scanned Critter on the Screen - It was doing a tap dance.

"Okay, I'll see you in a week." He said.
"A week!!!!" I shrieked. "I have more dates with you than with my Husband."
"I'll bring flowers next time." Doc quipped.

Tour = Show

What does someone do when they go into labor?
Do you call your doctor? Call an ambulance? Do you go to the emergency room?



All these questions were answered when Hubby and I took a tour of the maternity ward (sounds like it's for psychos and I most likely will act like one when I'm there).

The' tour guide' insisted "DO NOT GO TO THE EMERGENCY ROOM". Okay, I didn't know that, it would have been the place I'd go.
"Come into the hospital and go directly to the Maternity Ward. If you can't make it up there, tell them at information and assistance will be provided."

They showed us the Triage area where they monitor the Morther's progress, ie. are you really ready for the spectacle or do you have a way to go.
Then we went into a 'Birthing Room'. It's a typical10X10 room with a stirrup bed that reclines up. So, this is where I'll forget all the relaxation techniques and scream my head off and curse the day I met my husband and blame all the pain on him.
Then we headed to look at the room that the entire family (40+ people) will invade to gawk at Critter while I try to rest.

Tour Guide said a few things that were comforting.
The Birthing Bed comes to an upright position. The most ideal position for birthing is upright. I read it in a book.
This hospital encourages an immediate bond with the baby and will give Critter to me right after delivery to feed. I was going to mention to my Doctor next visit that I wanted to do that, and am so happy it'll happen.

We need to pay for Critter's college somehow so we'll be selling tickets to the Birth.

Get a front row seat (okay, standing room only) to the action.
Time the contractions.
Take bets on how many curse words I'll say.
Sing songs to calm me down.
Join the fun.
RSVP now.

*Please note: NO videotaping allowed. You're not making a dime off my drama.

Updated on May 5th.
I forgot to mention that in the Birthing Room is a television for our viewing pleasure. GREAT!! Hubby and I will be fighting over the remote just like we do at home.
"I want to watch the Simpsons."
" Well, I want to see what's on HGTV!"