phat

"How do you get rid of that?" Hubby asked pointing to my belly.
"F*ck you!" I replied.
"I'm just trying to help you."
"F*ck you!

I know what you're thinking and Ooooooooh, yes he did. He really said that. When will men learn to keep their mouths shut? Hello. Men. You never ever ever never comment about a woman's weight. EVEN if you think you're trying to help. Just zip it! Do men not know that we have eyes? I look at myself in the mirror. I know what I look like. I see my body. I get dressed everyday. I realize that out of all my clothes only 3 things fit me. I know I'm wearing my husband's T-shirts cause my tops are too small. I KNOW I've gained weight and I KNOW I need to lose it. Someone pointing it out isn't going to help me.

While I was pregnant, I thought after I had the baby I'd just go back to my normal weight and size. That it all just went away. In US Weekly, the celebrities were always thin a month after giving birth. HA! I thought I was like them. Maybe for some women the extra weight just disappears or ones that can afford a personal trainer; but not ones that gained 45 pounds and are cash poor; thank you very much

Six weeks after giving birth, in most cases a doctor will give an OK to resume normal activity. Mine did. Too bad prior to giving birth my normal activity didn't include working out. I never really "worked out", "exercised". I didn't belong to a gym and threw sweat beats on strangers while jogging on a machine. At home, I did do yoga occasionally, but that's about it. I was always thin.  I really didn't need to work out.

Weeeeeell, times sure have changed. It's been 7 months since Critter. I still have 20 extra pounds on me and a belly. Not pretty my friend. Sure, when I was pregnant people were saying I looked cute and I looked great. I ain't so cute now with a little pouch in front.  I need to work out! and ASAP! What am I waiting for? Critter's wedding day to realize I can't fit into anything? I've been lazy, too lazy. I need Jack Lalanne. I'm sure Richard Simmons with his short shorts can probably get me to shake my bon bon.

I'm a desperado underneath my clothes
I see my silhouette
Am not my self?
I feel a mad rejection for my body
I gotta shake my bon bon, shake my bon bon, shake my bon bon

I can now understand how people don't have the motivation to start exercising to lose weight. I'm at that point. It's almost a feeling of despair. That the weight isn't going to come off, so why bother.


But how to start? I guess you just do. I have to set goals.