A woman has breasts, a baby has a mouth and is born to suck, so you'd think breastfeeding would work in perfect harmony.
HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA!!!!!
I knew I wanted to breastfeed Critter. The health benefits for baby and mother are unparalleled. As women, we're built to birth and nurse. Sure breasts come in different shapes and sizes but these body parts aren't just for fun you know.
As soon as you give birth, the little baby is ready to suck and so it starts. While in the hospital I called for the lactation consultant 3X to insure I was shoving my boob in his mouth properly. Yep, I was doing it right. So what could go wrong at home?
At home, I was stressed out to the limit. Having a newborn isn't all roses (more on this in a later post). Things (milk wise) were flowing smoothly until the 3rd week when Critter constantly wanted to eat! I didn't know why. I thought I was doing something wrong. I thought maybe he wasn't latching on properly anymore. I would feed him, put him down to nap and 30 minutes later he'd wake up crying for more boob. I was ready to tear my hair out of my head.
While preggo, a good friend had sent me several books, one being: The Nursing Mother's Companion
Admittingly, I didn't read it. I put it aside thinking 'Who the heck needs a book to tell them about breastfeeding. It'll just come naturally.' Well, the 3rd week Critter was home and at my wit's end, I ran to the book case, pulled out the book and started reading it. EVERYTHING I had been frustrated / confused by was there in print. Explained and with guidelines / remedies.
At 3 weeks old, babies go thru a growth spurt and want to eat constantly. I was relieved to learn this and so much more.
So, I continued to breastfeed. BUT Critter looked thin to me, so I took him to the doctor to have him weighed (3 weeks old). He hadn't gained weight since his 2-week old visit. Huh?!?! How could it be? The kid is always on me eating. Doctor suggested I bottle feed him. He suggested I use formula or pumped breast milk, but I bottle feed to insure Critter is getting the amount of milk he needs. And bring him back in a week to have him weighed. If he hasn't gained weight, then there might be another cause for the lack of weight gain.
Bottle feed?!?! Formula?!?!?! I have boobs dammit! Albeit, not very big ones. But it's not the size of the vessel but the flow of the river; or what other corny cliche you want to twist to fit the scenario. Why aren't my boobs working? To say I was devastated is an understatement. I felt like I failed my child. I failed as a mother and as a woman.
We bottle fed Critter for a week stored breast milk I had previously expressed for rainy days and sure enough he gained weight. The first time I gave him a bottle I cried my little heart out as he was sucking the mild down. My boobs have failed me! I was adamant about finding out why. I read, read and read everything about breastfeeding.
There are so many factors in successful breastfeeding. Proper latching on, diet, Stress, etc. There are numerous websites, books, support groups, consultants.If you're having problems, Reach out and touch someone.
In my efforts to still provide Critter with Mother's golden liquid, I'm pumping, taking herbs (Fenugreek), drinking a tea (Mother's milk), eating oatmeal, massaging, drinking lots of water. But I'm still short on providing him with enough so I' m supplementing with formula. Some days it's half me / half powder, other days it's more my milk.
After beating myself up for not being enough of a boob, I've come to terms and resolved that I tried my best to only breast feed and it's okay that he's on formula also.My baby is healthy and happy and that is all that matters.
Critter hitting the Bottle
It's no cake walk that's for sure.
ReplyDeleteYou know how many formula babies I know that are all spectacularly happy and healthy? TONS.
Better his mom also be happy and healthy than stressed out and worried.
P.S. I switched mine to formula when she started teething. Apparently babies DON'T know that saying about not biting the hand that feeds you.
He is so cute I can't even take it. Look at that gorgeous hair!
ReplyDeleteYou have a boy, kiddo! They are hungry little things. My goal was to ween my son from the breast at six months. That is exactly what happened and he did it himself! Mommy boobs just weren't cutting it anymore. He had to slurp it down in mega volume. So don't feel bad. It's the way of hungry boys. Ya done good, kid. Don't give it another thought.
ReplyDeleteI think you're a boob :-)
ReplyDeleteYou're doing a great job and I commend you for trying so hard. Many women would have given up a long time ago. It doesn't come easy for many women. You're putting in a lot of time and effort into it and you should be commended.
I think Critter is in good hands. It sounds like you're a great Mom.
ReplyDeleteIt's more like: Not biting the Gland that feeds you.
ReplyDeleteRita: thanks for your email and your words of wisdon. Look for a post about the Uselessness of Men shortly.
Thanks, Bob.
You didn't fail your child or fail as a woman. We (mothers) tend to have very high expectations of ourselves. We think we can do it all.
ReplyDeleteYou're doing the best you can.